Disgruntled Graduate?

I remember the day I let go of my son's hand so that he could walk for the first time. He was eleven months.  It was nerve-racking to think he might fall, slip or bust a lip.  But instead, I let go so that he may cross the copious bedroom floor. And still, I peaked, stood suppressed around the corner to make sure that he did not fall.

My son has graduated from various universities with credentials in intelligence, security, cyber studies, and analytics.  He is older now with larger hands.  And with the same practices I used when he was younger, I still use today. 

Parents, avoid a disgruntled college graduate who resents a pre-set path by letting go of fears before your young adult walks across the collegiate stage.  Walking independently is to learning as decision making is to confidence. Both are growth factors that build a social code between child and parent.  It's based on mutual respect.  Throughout the sprouting moments of my son's relationship with me, I always encouraged him to go forward, even during the darkest times of life. And when he fell, I did not make haste to rescue him but fell with him.  Even staying in the moment of pain if necessary. I also chose not to conform to his stupid decisions. Instead, I confirmed his choices whether good or bad.  His upbringing in Catholic practices, faith, athletic traits, and skills was deemed utilitarian assets.  And when there were times to hold on, I let go. When there were times to let go, I guided.  When there was an opportunity to direct, I did so from a distance.  And when it was time for college?   I never told him what to study but only why to study.

You see, letting go and trusting my son to choose a collegiate field independently was hard at first. But he and I learned to trust each other.  In fact, as I look back, it was trust that allowed for a solid relationship and a life in collegiate work.  And as we both became older, we learned that all forms of life experiences (even the bad ones) builds character in order to make better or different choices the next time.

So, I do not have a disgruntled graduate who has majored in something that he does not own. Instead, I have a confident young man who is ready to take HIS next steps in life, alone.  But with peaking eyes and observing parents just around the corner.



  1. Always best to trust your children in their decisions about school, studies, etc. I know too many unhappy adults who did everything their parents wanted them to


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